Dealing
with complainers and whiners
“What you're supposed to do when you
don't like a thing is change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think
about it. Don't complain.” ― Maya
Angelou, Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now
Complainers
are the first cousins of gossipers. For them life is not fair. They often carry a healthy
dose of jealousy everywhere they go. They may also suffer from “excusitis,” the failure disease. They often
become victims of their own circumstances.
A victim sees the past as the reason for their failures. A victor sees the past as the reason for their success.
1. Help them
take responsibility for their problems. Don’t
take the monkeys from their backs. When they get sick of feeding their monkeys
they will divest their monkeys.
2. Don’t be
infected with their complaining. Have
no sympathy; do have empathy for first time offenders.
3.
Help them shift their thinking from problems to
solutions. Ask them to write their
complaints/problems along with their proposed solutions. Watch most complaining
go away quickly.
4.
Help them work on their self-esteem. Whiners often suffer from chronic low self-esteem.
5. Help them go
from “have to” to “get to.” Help them
see a new perspective without hitting them with a 2” x 4” (it is illegal). Help
them focus on blessings instead of curses.
6. Vaccinate
those around them. Apply no
complaining rules and perform
attitude checks regularly.
7. Help them
get a life. Help them find a purpose
and the complaining with be significantly reduced.
Pass
these nuggets on to others.
We make a living by what we get;
we make a life by what we give. Be a giver in a world of takers.
Be blessed and be a
blessing to others.
Carlos Fontana, President of Phalanx
Co-author of the book Follow to Lead (The 7 Principles to Being
a Great Follower)
Author of the book PRICELESS (Sixty-Six Simple
Stories of Reflection, Love, and Legacy
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