Dealing with complainers and whiners
“What you're supposed to do when you don't like a thing is change it. If you can't change it, change the way you think about it. Don't complain.” ― Maya Angelou, Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now
Complainers are the first cousins of gossipers. For them life is not fair. They often carry a healthy dose of jealousy everywhere they go. They may also suffer from “excusitis,” the failure disease. They often become victims of their own circumstances.
A victim sees the past as the reason for their failures. A victor sees the past as the reason for their success.
1. Help them take responsibility for their problems. Don’t take the monkeys from their backs. When they get sick of feeding their monkeys they will divest their monkeys.
2. Don’t be infected with their complaining. Have no sympathy; do have empathy for first time offenders.
3. Help them shift their thinking from problems to solutions. Ask them to write their complaints/problems along with their proposed solutions. Watch most complaining go away quickly.
4. Help them work on their self-esteem. Whiners often suffer from chronic low self-esteem.
5. Help them go from “have to” to “get to.” Help them see a new perspective without hitting them with a 2” x 4” (it is illegal). Help them focus on blessings instead of curses.
6. Vaccinate those around them. Apply no complaining rules and perform attitude checks regularly.
7. Help them get a life. Help them find a purpose and the complaining with be significantly reduced.
Pass these nuggets on to others.
We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give. Be a giver in a world of takers.
Be blessed and be a blessing to others.
Carlos Fontana, President of Phalanx
Co-author of the book Follow to Lead (The 7 Principles to Being a Great Follower)
Author of the book PRICELESS (Sixty-Six Simple Stories of Reflection, Love, and Legacy