Loving the Unlovable
Loving the lovable is easy. Can you and will you love the unlovable?
Angry and hurting people hurt people. Don’t let their hurts hurt you. Learn how to help them.
1. Commit. Commit to love the unlovable. Know they are out there. Prepare ahead of time how to deal with them. I know it sounds crazy but someone has to witness their craziness. Why not you? Learn to recognize who they are and to redirect their negativity towards an empty space and not into you. You commitment in the face of adversity will produce your character.
2. Be compassionate. Feel their pain. Pain feels good when we see the gains from the pain. Compassion works wonders. Learn how to grow in compassion. Frustrating at first? Absolutely.
3. Let the steam flow. When hurting people’s safety valve goes off get out of the way and let it flow without getting scalded. They will eventually realize and get back their composure. The better we get in doing what we say, the less we have to say anything at all. Eventually you will say nothing and become extremely effective in loving the unlovable.
4. Gracefully inspect. We cannot expect what we do not inspect. Set the example. Let them see in you what they are craving to have. Give them grace. Never let your imperfections take you to the grave. Have the humility to continuously work on you. Pray like in depends on God and work like it depends on you.
5. Pour it on. Never forget that it is better to be reminded than to be taught. No one likes to be taught. Lessons are repeated until lessons are learned. Let them discover for themselves their own problems. Eventually their pain catches up with their ignorance. Awareness is the first step to a solution.
6. Empathize. Never sympathize with those that are hurting. Stay strong so they can see in you who they would like to be. Help them think for themselves about their situation. They must think how to solve their own problems. Solving the problems for them creates dependency; welfare.
7. Never blame. Be aware of any solution that involves the blame game. Blame is a scape. Be there for them when they see they created their own problems. Be there for them when they realize they can solve their own problems.
Will you join my cause to fight mediocrity in America? Pass these nuggets on to others.We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give. Be a giver in a world of takers.
Be blessed and be a blessing to others.Carlos Fontana, President of Phalanx
Co-author of the book Follow to Lead (The 7 Principles to Being a Great Follower)
Author of the book PRICELESS (Sixty-Six Simple Stories of Reflection, Love, and Legacy)