The case for choosing a lifestyle
before a career
Our whole
education system, and parenting for that matter, guides and directs young individuals
to choose a career without much, if any, consideration for lifestyle. Little is
talked about and the system is not set up for choosing a lifestyle before choosing
a career.
Years ago, when one of my daughters, Andrea Fontana, today the owner
of andreafontanabeauty.com, a sophomore at the time, asked me to meet her at
her college town. She had something important to discuss. We went out for
dinner at PF Chang’s and she quickly popped out a few statements followed by a
powerful question. Dad, everyone seems to know exactly what career they want to
pursue; accounting, engineering, etc. I still don’t know what I want to do with
my life. I no longer want to pursue a medical career as a doctor. I baby sat
the kids of several doctors and I don’t like their lifestyle. How do I go about
deciding what career I want to pursue?
I took a deep breath and said. I am so
glad you don’t know what to pursue yet and I love your question. She seemed
puzzled by my response. Here she thought I was going to get upset at her. Then
I said, I think I can help you. First, keep pursuing your human biology degree.
I went on to draw three circles and ask her three key questions. 1) what is it
that you absolutely love to do? 2) what can you be the best at the world at? 3)
what can you earn an income at? Sounds simple, and simple it is, but the simple
is not always easy. Where the three circles intersect you detect your purpose
in life. Right then and there she answered the questions. Women’s beauty. We
ended up laying out a plan for her lifestyle and career. An inter-sectional
innovation business, the overlapping (two more circles 😊) of two huge trends (external and external beauty).
The conversations
during that dinner made all the difference in her life. She went on to work diligently
to get her degree, some training, and some great work experience. Today, 9 years
later, she is an expert in women’s beauty (internal and external). She loves
what she does, she is remarkably great at it, and of course, she is not only
making a living, she loves her lifestyle.
Before I get
into the case for choosing your lifestyle ahead of your career, let me state a
few challenges you will meet. You have to go against the grain so expect
resistance. Expect opposition of your approach to life. Our whole society asks
the wrong question, what do you want to do when you grow up? The question to
ask is who do you want to become? You have to think different than the conventional
thinking or wisdom. Career only oriented people eventually get comfortable and
end up with a feeling of emptiness.
Again, our 100+ year old industrial age
system is set up for having 17 or 18 years old decide on their careers when
they should be learning about different lifestyles. You are way bigger than
your career. Most are ill prepared to decide. Here is a monster tip. Once you
have chosen a career, before pursuing it, go talk and shadow 5 people who are
in that career and pay close attention to their lifestyles. Make sure that is
the lifestyle you want. Don’t let your career define who you are. Along with
who you are going to marry, this is one of the most important decisions, and
the young are extremely ill equipped to decide.
Which of these two pictures look better?
Here are 7
reasons why choosing a lifestyle first makes all the sense in the world:
1. Choosing a lifestyle first helps you
to make a life instead of just making a living and struggling to live paycheck
by paycheck. Your career should support your lifestyle instead of your
lifestyle being determined by your career.
2. Loving what you do, get great at it,
and be well compensated for it. Mastering your craft while enjoying life! Yes,
it is possible.
3. Be more content, happier, and at peace.
Prevents you from being a number and part of the 75% of the workers that
despise their jobs. Prevent going through your day to day grind.
4. Live by your priorities instead of by
your obligations. If you don’t know what you want then someone else will gladly
decide for you. You will not end up in a place you don’t like. The 2% that know
exactly what they want, have it written, and take massive actions towards their
lifestyles, control 98% of their wealth in the world.
5. Be in the driver seat of your life
instead of having others drive you where they want you to go. It will be easier
to transitions into new jobs and new careers.
6. Prevent you from getting caught into climbing
the wrong ladder. If you are in the wrong path, going faster gets you in the wrong
place quicker.
7. Leave a real legacy. Life something meaningful
to be remembered by. People who leave a lasting legacy focus on their passions,
their mission and vocation, besides focusing only on their careers/professions.
The sooner
you think broader, deeper, and bigger, the better you will be. Be patient and don’t
give up the process of choosing a lifestyle first. Remember the whole system is
not set up for this type of thinking and acting.
Take the above seriously,
follow this approach despite the resistance of teachers, friends, parents, etc.
and you will be glad you did it and you will be way ahead of the crowd.
Besides, it may prevent you a lot of pain from being a corpse in one of the
corpscerations.
Do you know what
lifestyle you want? Is it clear and written? Share it!
Carlos Fontana
Financial and
Leadership Coach
(Get out of debt, make
more money, pay less taxes)
"Those that take
swift action will always leave those that don't breathing the dust"
"The future
belongs to those who can see and pursue opportunities before they are
obvious"
“Managers influence
numbers, leaders influence people by inspiring them to pursue excellence”
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